Have I accepted the full measure of my disease?

When answering "Have I accepted the full measure of my disease?" on the 11th of July, 2013 I had stated that I had not fully grasped nor accepted the full extent of the disease of my addiction! Which the reason for not having complete acceptance on the 11/07/2013 was due to the fact I hadn't yet established what "issues" had created/surrounded my path of destruction that had slowly pushed me to personally gain/form such a horrid habit(s); Dependence on/of Methamphetamine! At that particular time/moment I had thought & began to believe that I wasn't supposed to completely comprehend the full measure just yet as I had other unknown things yet to come before which needed acceptance meaning once understanding & accepting whatever that might be I'll then be able to accept the full measure of the disease I personally suffer from.

 

 

Yet answering; "Have I accepted the full measure of my disease?" today (4th September, 2013) I can honestly say I completely recognize & comprehend the fact that I currently have & always will suffer from the disease of addiction which means I will never be "safe" to use Methamphetamines again! Yet honestly, it wasn't until my last relapse which had made me gain the realization of the reality of addiction & everything learnt during residing within a rehabilitation facility for 7 weeks. With comprehending & accepting the full extent/measure of my disease I have had to also accept the fact I may relapse within the journey ahead yet also informing myself that it's okay, Just keeping coming back because, it works, if you work it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reservations: Addiction & Recovery.

Reservations are places in our program that we have reserved for relapse. They may be built around the idea that we can retain a small measure of control, something like, "Okay, I accept that I can't control my using, but I can still sell drugs, can't I?" Or we may think we can remain friends with the people we used with or bought drugs from.

We may think that certain parts of the program don't apply to us. We may think there's something we just can't face clean-a serious illness, for instance, or the death of a loved one - and plan to use if it ever happens. We may think that after we've accomplished some goal, made a certain amount of money, or been clean for a certain number of years, then we'll be able to control our using. Reservations are usually tucked away in the back of our minds; we are not fully conscious of them. It is essential that we expose any reservations we may have and cancel them, right here, right now.